Monday, December 29, 2008

Supermarket Gleanings: 104 in a Series


International Delight coffee creamer presents...Caribbean Cinnamon Crème. There are multiple issues here:
•Does cinnamon hail from the Caribbean?
•Is the Caribbean a "nation," as in "International?"
•If it's spelled "crème," does that mean it's fake?

Supermarket Gleanings: #17.6 in a Series


Snuggle fabric softener presents its latest...flavor: sweet almond essence.

Supermarket Gleanings: #39 in a Series


Now I can eat Vanessa Hudgens! It's High School Musical cereal! I paid to see this movie with my son. The cereal should be free.

Supermarket Gleanings: #X in a Series

Is it "reduced fat" because there's less of it?

Zip-It


I'm trying to be green. Instead of pouring chemicals down my drain to deal with the family hair problem (see earlier blog), I got a product that mechanically cleans my drain: Zip-It, which is "environmentally safe"...except for the fact that this plastic product is for one-time use.

Eat Ham


My son Max made this cookie.

Peace Out


Here I'm sporting my son Max's NFL-style authentic headwear. I can't pull it off: the style...not the hat.

No Pocket Protector Needed


Today I returned to work from the holidays ready to write! The sheer number of writing utensils in my shirt pocket is unprecedented: and it has a story behind it! But you won't believe me.

Tuesday, December 16, 2008

Feminine Hygiene = Fun

Oddly enough, this sign is right over the bandages and first-aid kits. Giant, Hyattsville, MD

Save Trees! Use Petroleum-Based Products!


 This display is at Staples®. Trees are a renewable resource, and can be managed in a responsible way. These plastic pencils will sit in a landfill until the end of time. I wonder if these are even the refillable kind?

Tiffany


I work for the Government. This means I don't earn much money. However, to dream about gifts for my loved ones, I get the Tiffany catalog. I think this will be in some stockings this year. My economic stimulus package will cover this, right?

Bunny Wishes Me Happy Holidays

Monday, December 15, 2008

AWFUL Gifts Under $15

My Sunday paper comes with Parade magazine. It amuses me, for all the wrong reasons. Take December 14's issue for example.
Great Gifts Under $15
by Meredith Barnett
Instead of worrying about the cost of gifts, get creative.
•Give your time. [Okay, this is legitimate.]
•Mix it up. Create homemade gorp by combining mixed nuts, raisins, dried cranberries, and chocolate chips. [What in blazes is GORP? Ms. Barnett defines it, but the sound of the word alone would make me the most unappreciative recipient.]
•Keep it clean. When presented properly, soap retains a kind of natural elegance. [It also says, "You're dirty. Clean up your act."]
And finally, what's up with the cover of this issue of Parade? The red-shirted kid is cute, but the girl on the right is absolutely...stunned.

Friday, December 12, 2008

Wippity Wipes

Whip it.

Yay God

An interesting license plate courtesy of the photographic collection of J.J. Sokolowski & Andrea Huston, Aiea, Hawai'i (my brother-in-law and his wife).

Potted Meat Food Product

Bunny's Glasses

These are Bernadette's glasses. The tape didn't last through the day.

Thursday, December 4, 2008

Junk Mail Alias

I suppose it's too blurry to see in the picture, but the name on this piece o' junk mail is "Billy Bob Snodgrass," after an "AKA" I had in middle school: Billy Bo Bob McKay (3-B McKay). Don't ask. Sometimes I provide an alias so I can see who buys mailing lists from whom. I wonder what I'm worth?

Tuesday, December 2, 2008

Tub Stuff

Call me old-fashioned: I like long hair on women. Unfortunately, this means I get to snake the bathtub drain once a month. I thank God for nitrile gloves at Costco...

Ladies & Gentlemen, Quite Possibly the World's First...

...Completely Used Tube of Chap Stick®. No, really: it's gone. I used it all.



Holy Pencils

Exhibit A: "Without Jesus, Life Is Pointless"

Exhibit B: "Hammer Out Sin!"

Clearly, I need a wide-angle cell-phone camera.

Both courtesy of the Charles Fulcher collection, used with permission. Check out his blog!

Pumpkin Lunch

I've tried a few "diets" in my time. There's the infamous two-oranges-and-a-hunk-of-cheese diet that I tried for one day. My best friend Stanley, now a doctor, pointed out that I was eating a lot of fat. I thought cheese was healthy. Today I decided to try pumpkin. From a can. It doesn't taste like a pie.