Tuesday, September 30, 2008

Texas Roadhouse, Part III: Kale?


Texas Roadhouse encourages you to throw your discarded peanut shells on the floor, yet they garnish your meal with kale. Isn't that for high-class joints?

Texas Roadhouse, Part II: Concrete Bucket


Texas Roadhouse gives you free peanuts. You get to fling the shells anywhere! But they offer them in a bucket that seems to have been used to mix concrete.

Texas Roadhouse, Part I: Flavor Flav


I dined at Texas Roadhouse, a restaurant that originated in...Indiana. Here's the moose that greets you. Nice watch.

"Using your imagination..."


This is the most common line your tour guide utters at Skyline Caverns. Do you see Mary, Jesus, and Joseph?

Skyline Caverns Gift Shop, Part III

Clearly, the maker of this hat was in need of the patron saint of haberdashers (Saint Louis IX--who knew?).

Skyline Caverns Gift Shop, Part II


For $16 a person, can't they afford to fix a leaking window the right way?

Skyline Caverns Gift Shop, Part I


This weekend I visited Skyline Caverns in Luray, Virginia. Before the tour, I was offered the opportunity to look for a souvenir: you have to wait for the next tour after all (how convenient!). These signs remind me of the ones I saw as a child in a thrift store operated by the American Rescue Workers: "God Is Watching You" and "The 8th Commandment: Thou Shalt Not Steal." The eagle is a sample of the merchandise available.

Blue SWIMMING Crab


Today we revisit Costco. Notice the "blue swimming crab." As opposed to...dead crab floating on the surface?

Eat Dirt


This is what happens when you volunteer to spruce up church property. I got to scrape mud, grass clippings, and cigarette butts from a drain. The centipedes, camel crickets, and harvestmen kept me company. The Lord works in mysterious ways.

Hands Off! Please?


WARNING: this car will NOT start--even if you try to hotwire it!
lights won't work...
ignition won't work...
P.G. Plaza Metro Station parking garage

Rapture


I love God. I'm not sure who he is. I'm pretty sure he's not the guy in this painting. I am afraid to share my faith with people. They may think I'm a whack. More can scare you here here. Here's the ultimate in planning services: act now!

Tuesday, September 16, 2008

Big Bubba


The Super Big Gulp Plus has been supplanted (see July 2008 blog). I present Bubba Keg: 72 ounces of liquid sustenance. **UPDATE: Big Bubba leaks. It's been donated. Hopefully, my personal Big Bubba will not have the same problem.**

Friday, September 5, 2008

Bumper


My son, looking "fly" with his white hoodie, and I do a mock demolition derby at Funland, Rehoboth Beach, Delaware. Naturally, Pops won. But Max would beg to differ. My bald head makes a nice reflector for extra safety and protection.

In a Fog


This is what happens in Washington DC when you get out of your air-conditioned car into the humid mess that passes for air in our capital city.

WWE


Our clothes dryer is on the fritz. While it's awaiting repair, I go to LaundryWorld, where paying customers actually choose to watch World Wrestling Entertainment action. Actually, I used to be a big fan of pro wrestling. I can assure you: after a 10-year hiatus from watching these athletic thespians, nothing much has changed. The red arrow points to the giganto-TV featuring WWE action.