Tuesday, December 29, 2009
At Andrew Jackson Middle School, ca. 1982-83, in Suitland, MD, kids would adopt an AKA or BKA. For example, Ainisha might go by Smurfette. You would see, "Ainisha AKA Smurfette." But this graffiti suggests that the art form has evolved. Clearly, one must develop at least two AKA/BKAs....
Monday, December 28, 2009
Tuesday, December 22, 2009
Mere words cannot describe the horror I felt upon finding this entire box of Strawberry Crush pound cake. Orange and Grape Crush pound cakes were in boxes next to this. Wow.
Tuesday, December 15, 2009
Wednesday, December 9, 2009
With a name like Snodgrass, one must be prepared for endless teasing at the hands of school chums. I've already prepared my 10-year-old son. It starts with, "Snodgrass?! Ha!" It morphs to "SnoTgrass," and ends with "SnoT-Ass." The entire devolution takes mere moments. Today I actually laughed at the name my colleague wrote on some paperwork: "Snod." Just Snod.
Wednesday, December 2, 2009
This hustler knows how to hawk his wares. This day he was selling $4 hot chocolate. $4!!! I could buy 60 packs of Swiss Miss at Costco for that. The best thing about Crazy Pepsi Man is his homemade Pepsi logo on his headband. This was taken at Chevy Chase Bank FSB (a Division of Capital One) Field at Byrd Stadium, but Crazy Pepsi Man works RFK Stadium, too. I've seen him.
Tuesday, November 24, 2009
Thursday, November 19, 2009
Monday, November 16, 2009
Friday, November 13, 2009
1) Always walk in the lunchroom.
2) Stay in your seat at all times. [How are you going to get the ice cream in 3)?]
3) Raise your hand if you need an adult, if you want to buy ice cream, if you need to go to the bathroom, or if you have a spill. [But for no other reason whatsoever!]
4) When adult raises their hand stop talking immediately. [It's comforting to know my child's education rests in the hands of someone who uses a plural possessive with a singular subject.]
5) No popping bags.
6) No trading food. [Narcotics okay.]
7) Clean up all trash on the table and on the floor.
8) No toys at the lunch table.
Clearly, Americans all love NASCAR, because Ye Olde Oak has labeled every can of brine-soaked American style hot dogs with a racing-car-styled "6." Or maybe that's how many brine-soaked American style hot dogs you get.
Thanks to Vicki Cheeseman!
Thanks to Vicki Cheeseman!
Friday, November 6, 2009
A colleague received a response to her emailed request for a movie date. The answer was no. Her response was to print the email and fax a message back to the potential date: "Can you at least take me to McDonald's?" I worked with a man whose dating mantra was Movies, McDonald's, and Motel. Still works for some people.
Ever pour milk on your cereal and one of those bowl-shaped flakes sends your milk showering all over the kitchen table? No? Hmm. Well, I'm so frustrated by this negative side effect of modern civilization (cereal), that I need to find a positive outlet for my stress. How about MilkLand? An amusement part featuring MILK. Not water. It's not a water park. A MILK park. Any rich readers wanna invest?