Tuesday, February 24, 2009

Gabby The Drummer

I took Max to Guitar Center to pick up a music stand for my budding guitarist. I can't convince him to try the violin. So it goes. Gabby, his sister, tagged along. She liked the drums.

Mixed League

"Join a mixed league and mix up your fun!"
"Hey, baby, like my ball?"


Good grief...an average slice of cheesecake has 18 grams of fat. Now fry it.

Cleanliness: Next To Godliness [And Maybe Wealth]

The customer in front of me at Costco spent over $700 on...Irish Spring soap. My first wife thought I smelled funny until she realized it was my soap: Irish Spring. Avoid it.

3 Miles Away

Can you see the toboggan run? Max and I started at the top at the red X. We then flew at 50 MPH down a steep concrete run to stop about 3 miles yonder, screaming our heads off all the way. Woo-hoo!

Not The Cynic [At Least Today]

Most people who know me say I'm a cynic. Not today--I was touched by a coworker's careful arrangement of candy.*
*We now return to our regularly scheduled Steve.

Supermarket Gleanings: #82.5 In An Endless Series

I get so sick of trying to shake mayo out of a bottle.* Fortunately, now there's...EASY OUT! Non-Stick Package Hellmann's! Whew.

*Truthfully, I hate mayo.

Wednesday, February 11, 2009

Ladies & Gents, Presenting The Bootlet

I dined at a fine restaurant [Mamie's in Aberdeen, MD] this weekend. You know how guys are. Our conversations are about generalities and the mundane. Nothing too deep. This is how we bond. We have a difficult time talking with women, who usually want to share "feelings." Now add a second woman to the mix and the guy has no choice but to jingle the change in his pocket...or notice the bootlet of the guy across the way who's in the same predicament: everybody's done eating and the ladies want to talk. He was as bored as I was. The point of this entry was to poke fun at the concept of a zipper-sided "bootlet," but I seem to have talked on and on and on. Like a woman. Wait.


I love these things: Banana Split [with no flavor typically found in the classic banana split except banana--and it's artificial, for sure], Mary Jane [it gives added nuances to Rick James's song of the same name], Squirrel Nut Zippers [my first wife bought an album by the band of the same name--I endlessly chided her that it was a scant 37 minutes; no wonder she divorced me], and Bit-O-Honey [ANY product with an abbreviation of the word "of" gets high points on my scorecard]. There's some other peanut butter-based product in this picture, but it crumbled upon opening and thus deserves my passive-aggressive wrath [i.e., I offer no anecdote]. Lucky you.

Is This An American Bidet?

This toilet at NIH, where I sell my blood every 60 days, puzzles me every time I use it. What is the little shower head's purpose?

The Defense

As you know from two previous postings, I've got a cubicle roach problem. Here's the weapon: COMBAT, "para cucarachas."

Do Hobos Have Handbags?

At Costco they do.

Friday, February 6, 2009

My New Friends

Clearly, the roaches like my cubicle [see previous post]. I have no clue why. I am extremely neat. All my food is sealed. I suspect it's the moisture they want. Most insects need moisture more than anything else. Maybe I should cover my plant-watering pitcher...