Thursday, July 24, 2008

Try some...vitamin D?

We Costco members are an odd lot. We pay $50 a year for the privilege of witnessing humanity at its basic level: the hunter and the gatherer. At Costco, Saturday is Sample Day! People go crazy over getting free samples of coffee, yogurt, protein bars, and...VITAMIN D. Yes, a stony-faced, hair-netted one-day contractor at Costco stoically thrust at me a vitamin D sample. Costco sees free-sampling as a way to grab buyers and their money. "It's new! It's the latest! Try it!" Costco members see free-sampling as a way to try new things--some members even see Sample Saturday as a grazing opportunity: it's free lunch! But what's the impetus for offering VITAMIN D?! Judging from these hypothetical customer reactions, I still can't figure it out:
[A] "Honey, I don't need lunch--I had my fill of vitamin D at Costco!"
[B] "Wow, this vitamin D is so awesome, I'm gonna buy a 5-lb. tub of it!"
[C] "Tasty."
[D] "That vitamin D really kicked my bones into high gear. I now know that I can't live without it."
Don't ask me which answer is right.

Extra Fancy

Ordinary mixed nuts just don't cut it. Only EXTRA FANCY for this connoisseur.

Wednesday, July 9, 2008

Juice Beverage Triptych

Taste-Great presents a trio of tantalizing juice-like beverages! Goofy Grape! Swinging Strawberry! Lightning Lemon-Lime! Shoppers Food & Pharmacy, College Park, MD

Monday, July 7, 2008

Beware the Power of Electricity!


It's not a Big Gulp. It's not a Super Big Gulp. It's a SUPER BIG GULP PLUS--52 amazing ounces of icy refreshment, all for just $.89! The bucket/barrel requires a straw at least a foot in length. This resides in my car at all times, ready to be filled when thirst strikes. Even my 9-year-old calls me Beverage Boy.

Taito's "Operation Wolf"

My best friend, Stanley, and I spent too many quarters at the geodesic Golden Dome in the parking lot of Beltway Plaza (Greenbelt, MD) in the late '80s. We also frequented an arcade inside the mall. I'm 98% certain that a fingerprint dusting on this vintage game would prove that we pumped quarters into this actual specimen. Note electrical tape on the right Uzi. July 5, 2008.

"Famous" "9/11" "Mexicans"

Clearly I live under a rock: I had no clue about the famousness of the Harris Roach Tablet. This was taken at Beltway Plaza Hardware (Greenbelt, MD). The staff conversed throughout my photography session on the conspiracies swirling around 9/11. I also heard, "If those Mexicans like their country so much, why don't they go back to Mexico?"

Dryer-Sheet Man

Evidence that I will commit any fashion atrocity to keep mosquitoes at bay.*
*Urban legends suggest dryer sheets work. I'm still collecting data.

I love whipped cream.

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