Bacon

Hallway floor, Old Post Office Pavilion, Washington, DC

WTF

Leg Hair Grooming

My adopted god-daughter (don't ask) Gabby combed my leg hair during my visit to Cleveland this weekend. It actually was rather soothing.

It's POP

It's SODA. Take yer pick. I apologize for the astounding quality of this photo: I used my digital SLR.

Inferno

In Lakewood, Ohio, this is how attic-demolition debris is disposed of.

Real Grass Stains

I played football with my 10-year-old son this weekend. I have no athletic prowess. He's the sports pro in the family. I was so proud that I got a wee bit o' grass on my shorts.

All Mommy Wanted Was A Back Rub

Submitted by our beloved correspondent in Hawaii, Jay Sokolowski!

Church: NOW ONLY 1 HOUR!

NEW! Only 1 hour of God! I'm sure the pews'll be filled to capacity.

Gentle Solutions

Earrings by Gentle Solutions. I don't wear earrings, but I'm guessing this brand's selling point is that it's better than those earrings that you need to thrust through your unpierced ear. Am I right?

Shopping Mall Law

Law office, Beltway Plaza shopping center, Greenbelt, MD

Mmm...Cotton Candy

Mmm...1980's.
Beltway Plaza shopping center, Greenbelt, MD, 2009 [sic]

BREAKFAST Syrup

Not pancake, not French toast, not waffle, not dinner, not lunch. BREAKFAST syrup.

PB & J

I am a big fan of some things: funk, baroque violin, a few movies, social justice. But some people are so devoted to the things that really matter in life that they need to get a vanity tag, like this person...for peanut butter and jelly.
Submitted by our correspondent in Aiea, Hawai'i, Jay Sokolowski (full disclosure: brother-in-law).

Face, Not Butt

Hotel soap: "face."

Geek Humor

I work at the National Endowment for the Humanities. We're geeks. I love this place.

For Those Of You Who Didn't Believe I Got A Flame-Thrower

I was too wrapped up in playing to learn most of the stuff my Dad tried to teach me, but I did learn one thing from him: when you have a tent-caterpillar-infested tree, torch the bastards. I love Dad.

Cholesterol & Placenta!

This installment marks only the second time in the history of Steve's Camera-As-Blog that we have a guest contributor! Thanks to Dyxie for this hot duo: Queen Helene Cholesterol Hot Oil and Henna 'n' Placenta.

Horticulturists Should Rethink This Flower's Name

Rhododendron "Sambo"

Naturally Refreshing

Hmm...

Strawberry Is Now A Verb!

"Joe, what's up with these M&M's?"
"I dunno. Wait. It's coming to me. THEY'VE BEEN STRAWBERRIED!"

Hizzoner, Marion Barry

"Thanks, but no thanks I don't need the money I won the case again. They tried to SET ME UP!! Yours Truly, Mayor Barry, Marion Barry"
Paper note taped to an empty bottled-water jug, Old Post Office, Washington, DC

Are We Having Fun Yet?

The Extra Careful Backer-Upper

It takes THREE, baby.
Leilani is my Hawaiian hula dancer.

Do You Challenge Me To Drink This 2-Liter [Part II]?

It's 3:57. It's gone [see previous post from today].

Thanks...NOT

My favorite bookstore closed: Vertigo Books in College Park. I spied this sign on the door.

Do Not Touch!

It's a wall and a stairway, but, okay.

45 Degrees of Reclination

This is being put out to pasture at my agency. With its 45-degree angle of reclination, I can see why.

Do You Challenge Me To Drink This 2-Liter?

Ask those who know me: you will lose the bet. This was the bottle at 9:30. At 8:00 AM, it was full. I promise an update by 4:30.

God Is Italian

Come on, I challenge you: find a non-chain pizza box and look for this guy. He's ubiquitous. Thus, he must be God. And somebody's trying to put crosshairs on Him. Probably the Christian right.

34-Story Structure Of...Plastic

I count 34 cups here. These drinking vessels reside in a cupboard, but I brought them out to share their sheer mass, or, er, voluminousness. I just noticed that my paper-towel roll is empty. It's funny how I need my own cell-phone-camera blog to figure that out. NOTE: At the top is the cup of the three-time Super Bowl champions, the Washington Redskins. Thank you.*
*Paid for by Dan Snyder, used under license of the National Football League and the Washington Redskins

Dead Frog Soap

You've been to those natural history museums where the formaldehyde-preserved specimens have cotton balls where their eyes should be, right? This soap did NOT come from a museum.

The Cooler

It is important to stay hydrated. I use a cooler at work to chill my favorite beverages to make them more enjoyable. I'm known as the Ice Man. In fact, when I go to the ice machine, I hear, "The ice man cometh."*
*With apologies to Eugene O'Neill

Brush Cleaning

Gentlemen, this is what happens when ladies clean their brushes. I could make a toupee out of this.

Obama Declares Civil Servant Snodgrass "Ideal"

As a federal worker, I took the challenge of my boss (that would be the President) to heart and found that my Body Mass Index is "ideal." Okay, so my headline paraphrased a bit.