Patrolled By Mower

Under the stop sign is taped a neon-green hand-lettered sign that reads, "Patrolled By Mower." I can't make this stuff up, folks. College Park, MD

Custom-Made Ice Cream Van

Creepy.

Wanted: Man Purse

Yes, ladies and gentlemen, this is what I house in my pants--every day. Every freakin' day.

Walken

Rugged Wearhouse, College Park, MD

Trail of...Hot Sauce

Evidence in the People's Court case, Hot On The Trail Of A Trail Of Hot Sauce. Old Post Office, Washington DC.

Suttle Thoughts

Even this pedestrian scratched his head in puzzlement at this sign:
Recession Getaway
SUTTLE THOUGHTS '09
Sept 4-7
San Juan, PR

On The Road With...Fish

Insider Information

Mall Nudity

Old Navy, Arundel Mills Mall, Hanover, MD

Hell Of A Sale

This was an aisle in the shoe department of Burlington Coat Factory, Arundel Mills Mall (Hanover, MD).

Hard-Knock Life

I can't imagine why parents would want to photograph their kids in some old-timey style that suggests poverty.
Arundel Mills Mall, Hanover, MD

AWESOME!

Twelve awesome long rolls! Costco

Single Style

Costco offers these Family Style hamburger rolls. What if you're single?

Handcuff Bike Lock

On the campus of the University of Maryland, some police officers ride bikes, complete with red and blue lights, a siren, and...bike locks made of handcuffs. My accomplice feared I risked arrest taking this shot: she fled the scene.

Napkins: Just For Lunch Now

If you want a napkin for dinner or breakfast or even just a snack, look elsewhere.
Costco, Beltsville, MD

Shorts: For Walking ONLY

Warning: Do Not Run, Sit, Stand, Or Do Anything Other Than Walk In These Shorts. This Notice Required By Law.
Costco, Beltsville, MD

Too Hot!

I work in a very old historic building in Washington, DC. We have temperature control issues. To track discomfort, a board has been erected outside a conference room for employees to record raw data for subsequent analysis. Somebody clearly had had enough. The yellow Post-it note says, "TOO HOT!"

Mr. Winkie

Submitted by our correspondent in Lakewood, Ohio, Melanie Shearer!

Steve + Ladder = Pain

I'm incredibly self-reliant. I never ask for physical help. This is a problem. This weekend, I attempted to operate a 32-foot aluminum extension ladder single-handedly. It almost left me single-thumbed. Ouch. I hate seeing my own blood. There was a lot of it. Send sympathy money via PayPal to stevensnodgrass7037@gmail.com . Thank you.

Mad Math Skilz

I love Old Navy, but they need to give the average customer some credit. 50% off! Okay: divide every price by 2. Do I need an entire spreadsheet detailing what I get when I divide by 2?