Tuesday, November 24, 2009
Doo-Dads. Sweets. Candies. GOODIES!
"Brach's Department of Candy Names. May I help you?"
"Joe, whatcha gonna name the new maple nut candy?"
"Gee, Bill, I dunno. Maple Nut Goodies?"
World Record #2
Yes, dear readers, for the second time in my life, I have completely used a tube of lip balm. It's been almost a year.
NOT for Thanksgiving
The Unknown Leaf-Bagger
Thursday, November 19, 2009
Fop...Coxcomb...Dandy
Monday, November 16, 2009
Buddha Sees No Evil
Techno-Steve
Friday, November 13, 2009
Rulez
1) Always walk in the lunchroom.
2) Stay in your seat at all times. [How are you going to get the ice cream in 3)?]
3) Raise your hand if you need an adult, if you want to buy ice cream, if you need to go to the bathroom, or if you have a spill. [But for no other reason whatsoever!]
4) When adult raises their hand stop talking immediately. [It's comforting to know my child's education rests in the hands of someone who uses a plural possessive with a singular subject.]
5) No popping bags.
6) No trading food. [Narcotics okay.]
7) Clean up all trash on the table and on the floor.
8) No toys at the lunch table.
Vanilla Floaters
Hot Dogs In Brine: Ye Olde Oak Presents American Style
Potato Chips: Now a Complete Breakfast
Thursday, November 12, 2009
Friday, November 6, 2009
If Not A Movie...How About McDonald's?
A colleague received a response to her emailed request for a movie date. The answer was no. Her response was to print the email and fax a message back to the potential date: "Can you at least take me to McDonald's?" I worked with a man whose dating mantra was Movies, McDonald's, and Motel. Still works for some people.
Lowly Redskins
Fred Willard?
MilkLand®!
Ever pour milk on your cereal and one of those bowl-shaped flakes sends your milk showering all over the kitchen table? No? Hmm. Well, I'm so frustrated by this negative side effect of modern civilization (cereal), that I need to find a positive outlet for my stress. How about MilkLand? An amusement part featuring MILK. Not water. It's not a water park. A MILK park. Any rich readers wanna invest?
Brain Wave Vibration
Monday, November 2, 2009
Who's Counting?
Pinhead Proof
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