"...the Bloods and the Crips and the KKK." -- Black Eyed Peas

Even apples can turn to a life of crime.

Spock the Teletubby

"Take the whole damn bottle, sir."

I'm on so much Xanax, CVS just gives me the whole bottle and slaps my prescription label right on it.

Mom: Scrabble Champ

285-255

Two-Toned Liner

For the elevator that has everything, why not give the thoughtful gift of a reversible two-toned padded car liner?

Blue = Green

Ten Redneck Babies

Submitted by Rebecca Roach!

Why He All Up In My Grill?

So I'm doing my laundry and this guy can't use a dryer a little farther away from mine?  I'm the yellow.  He's the pink.  

Gefilte

This jar has been sitting in my building's mail room for a few days.

Mom: Champion Speller

Among many duties in a microbiology lab at D.C. General Hospital, Mom poked around fecal samples with a wooden stick. Maybe that explains her Scrabble play. She sheepishly asked me, "Can I use a 'dirty' word?"

Bacon Vs. Pre-Cooked Bacon

Pizza toppings.

Forget Responsible Spending, Get An Eyebrow Wax, Son

Take It Easy, Partner

Hershey's CHILLED

Micro-Cart

Deliciously Sweet

It says so on the label.

What If I Answer 3 or 4?

Maxwell Steven Snodgrass, son, this is for you....

Do You Remove The Claws Before Eating?

Submitted by Allison!

Don't Give Me Euphemisms: What Is It Really?

Submitted by Allison!

Bathroom Emergency

This toilet had a lot of toilet paper in it. And a whistle next to it. I wonder if this is tied to the Government's whistleblower protection plan.

Trix Are For Kids

Or 20-something adults.

Library Freebie Table