"Lock and load!"

"Back in MY day, son, we could actually smell the REAL outdoors."

Entertain. Engage. Escape.

This is NOT a sci-fi prop...

...it's the lighted cup holder on the recliner I almost bought.

"Sir? Are you the canned-scent manager? Do you have anything more dirty?"

Brontosaurus Bone

Like the brontosaurus, I can't believe this is real.

Me, Too

Don't Slip

Men often miss a urinal...so this rubber mat provides traction.

Push Button...Obtain Bacon

--Etched into the instruction plate on a hand dryer in a men's room. Which brings me to a phenomenon about which most women are ignorant. Hand dryers often have these instructions:

1. Push Button
2. Rub Hands Under Warm Air

Being that men are boys, these instructions on men's room hand dryers are usually modified to read

1. Push Butt**
2. Rub Hands Under *arm ***
3. Wipe Hands On Pants

If I Had To Prepare Meat For Eating...

...I think I'd go vegetarian.
Bags o' blood 'n' meat = mmm.

I'm NOT Lovin' It

If I were a Diet Dr. Pepper fan...

Black Caesar

James Brown would have been proud of this homage to Black Caesar.

Crisp Berry Scent

My Other Ride...

 

...Is Your Girlfriend. I'm just reporting what the sticker says, folks.

Big Tiny

Jumbo Popcorn Chicken. Jumbo popcorn? Isn't that an oxymoron? Popcorn shrimp are small, right?

Body Snatchers

This towing company is creatively called Body Snatchers.

Beverage Math

20 oz = $1.19
44 oz = $1

Fantasy

Fantasy 6 Reloaded: With NEW Items!

Gas-station men's room vending machine.

Mighty Cone