Thursday, July 29, 2010

Wednesday, July 14, 2010

Sunday, July 11, 2010

In Case Of An Emergency...

...casually stroll down the exit stairs.

When I feel I'm getting a little too white...

...I take BroMax D. Turns me into a Brother in no time flat. You know you want it.

Monday, July 5, 2010

Size Matters

I thought my 44 oz Quencher was a bad-ass drink, but then I saw the 100 oz Extreme Quencher.

Friday, July 2, 2010

OCD In Action

As the new snack bar czar at work, I take our ones and bucket o' coins to the bank for larger bills. My colleague confessed she has obsessive/compulsive disorder (OCD) and asked to be given the pleasure of counting the money, segregating it into clipped packs of ten singles each and envelopes for pennies, nickels, dimes, and quarters. With this much evidence, did she really need to make a confession? 

Errant Eros

I felt so sad: this balled up note was outside my neighbor's front door.

I Want This License Plate

It beats any vanity tag I could invent.

I Am Lion: Hear Me Roar

With such a rude greeting, I'd expect at least a remotely life-sized lion to scare me into compliance. Yes, that's a lion. It's mate is on the other side of the entrance.

Bad Corn, Bad Chicken, Bad Kabob

So I just moved to town and I can already deduce that this chain called Albertson's is on its last leg as a purveyor of groceries: moldy corn (how can the produce manager miss that?), rotten chicken ($3/lb. special!) that I bought and attempted to eat (when I demanded a refund, the original receipt was illegible, so I presented the rotten chicken in a bag as proof of purchase), and this bizarre offering of corn and potato kababs.

Multiple-Message Mayhem

1. "Clifford the Big Red Dog: Bow Wow" on an eighties Ford Escort wagon
2. Taco Bell marquee: "Marmaduke Are Here"
3. Burger King marquee: "Play To Win Instartly" [sic]