Grape-Scented Urinal Cake!

Our building has been furnished with new grape-scented urinal cakes! Mmm.

Hillbilly Popcorn

Hillbilly Jeff's Kettle Korn
www.putonthefeedbag.com

Semen Analysis

I had a vasectomy. So the doctor gives me a cup and a prescription-like slip of paper and a list of laboratories for my post-vasectomy semen analysis. Being the son of a microbiologist/lab technician, I wanted to be sure my sample does not get contaminated. Hey, you gotta stop mid-stream for a urine sample, right? RIGHT? They swab you with iodine for a blood donation. Do I have to do something special for a semen sample?
"Uh, LabCorp? I need to give you a semen sample."
"Okay, sir."
"How do I do that?"
"Well, sir...uh...hmm...you should call your doctor."
"He sent me to you."
"Uh...hmm. Well. Use the cup."
"Well, I figured that out."
"So...how can LabCorp help you, sir?"
"Do you want the whole sample?"
"Excuse me? I'm not sure what you mean, sir."
"Are there any instructions?"
"Instructions."
"On what I should do to provide a sample."
"Bring it within 2 hours."
"Thank-you-very-much-goodbye."

Skull 'n' Crossbones

On a Honda Civic.

Doctor Acorn!

He's French, no? The goatee...the monocle...the beret.

It's Not Mr. Clean, It's Capt. Shine!

Mystery Substance

Men's restroom, Old Post Office Pavilion, Washington DC

Smoked Meats

My son Max, AKA Breakfast-Meat Boy, would be in heaven...

BM!

Submitted by our correspondent, Allison Uwimana!

The $138 Sticker

It's time to renew my car's registration in Maryland. For $138, I get a sticker.