Translation

Gosa Vädd clearly is Swedish for "pillow for the happy dead." Ikea, College Park, MD

The Scepter

If the toilet is a throne, here's the scepter. Ikea, College Park, MD

37 to 54

Ikea, College Park, MD

Panhandling

P&G Old Greenbelt Theatre, Greenbelt, MD

What Use Is A Heart?

Graffiti, Plato's Diner, men's room, College Park, MD

Hi-Tech HVAC

I work for the federal government. If you think we feds waste your tax dollars, I present evidence to the contrary. This is ductwork made of sandwich-bag-grade plastic...duct-taped to a window, which surprisingly is made of glass (versus plywood).

Right-To-Lifers Trash The Joint

I work on Pennsylvania Avenue between the Capitol and the White House. On January 22, 2009, a contingent of right-to-lifers descended on Washington. I believe abortion should be legal; people have their right to disagree. I support this right to disagree. However, please do not leave your signs and other offal from your march on my building's steps. It is, after all, your property, too: it's a federal building.

Don't Make Me Go All Medieval On Your Ass

I play the violin. I prefer baroque music. Right now, I expanded to some medieval stuff. This tune's called "Gong Of The Ass." I can't make this stuff up.

Gather 'Round, Doofuses

Here's a coupon for Campbell's soup. It so thoughtfully reminds you that it can be found in the soup aisle.

Six-Tissue Ceremony

I love Obama. I went through at least six tissues during one hour of the inauguration.